Alright, so I figured it was time to mess around with that trendy golden milk stuff everyone’s been hyping up. You know, that turmeric drink that’s supposed to fix your joints and help you sleep? Figured I’d whip up my own version since store-bought ones cost an arm and a leg.
Stuff I Grabbed From My Pantry
- A can of coconut milk that was sitting there for months
- That dusty jar of turmeric powder from who knows when
- Half a knob of ginger looking kinda sad in the fridge
- Black pepper (gotta have this or the turmeric does nothing!)
- Little drizzle of honey cause everything tastes like dirt otherwise
First thing I did was hack that ginger up real rough with a knife – no fancy grating today. Tossed the chunks straight into a tiny saucepan with the whole can of coconut milk. Let that mess simmer on low heat while I stared at my phone for 5 minutes.
Dumped like two heaping spoons of turmeric powder into the pot next. Looked like radioactive swamp water at this point, all lumpy and weird. Remembered last time I forgot the black pepper and felt zero effects, so cracked a ton into it. Stirred with a fork cause all my spoons were dirty.
The Moment of Truth & Epic Fail
Poured it into my biggest mug thinking I’d made liquid gold. Took one giant gulp and nearly spit it everywhere. Tasted like spicy dirt mixed with coconut! Choked it down with a fistful of honey stirred in. Stained my favorite white mug bright yellow – total disaster.
Tried again the next day with less ginger and way more honey. Still tasted awful but at least I didn’t gag this time. Drank the whole thing before bed hoping for miracles. Woke up feeling… exactly the same. But hey, my insides stayed toasty warm all night!
Final thoughts? Not magic like TikTok claims, but my grandma would probably approve. Won’t buy the overpriced cafe version ever again though.
