So last Thursday I dragged the whole crew to Potter’s Seafood after hearing mad hype about their crab cakes. Let me walk you through this messy food adventure step by step.
The Hype Train Ride
Rolled up at 6PM sharp thinking we’d beat the rush. Wrong. Hostess side-eyed us like “Should’ve booked, suckers.” Stood crammed near smelly restrooms for 40 damn minutes listening to this dude loudly explain Bitcoin to his date.
First move when seated:
- Punched table so hard waters splashed
- Snatched three bread baskets immediately
- Demanded all ranch dressing within 10 feet
The Food Circus
Our server Tim looked like he’d rather be anywhere else. Ordered:
- Clam Chowdah: Came lukewarm with sad oyster crackers. Tasted like someone dumped flour straight into Campbell’s.
- Crab Dip: Actually decent! Cheesy AF with visible lump meat. Only downside? Seven tiny tortilla chips. Asked for more – got charged $4 extra.
- Fried Shrimper Platter: Kid called it “underwater chicken fingers.” Shrimp smaller than my pinky nail.
Saved my expectations for the “World Famous Crab Cakes” touted on their neon sign. What arrived:
- Two hockey pucks drowning in oil
- ZERO crab chunks – just bready mush
- Lemon wedge looked dehydrated
The Parking Ticket Twist
Paid bill still hungry. Walked out to find bright orange envelope under wiper. Meter expired while we suffered through mediocre seafood. $85 fine. Screamed into my to-go box of leftover bread rolls.
Why share this disaster?
- Wife hasn’t stopped mocking my restaurant picks since
- Kid cried over weak tartar sauce
- Parking ticket now lives on my fridge as shame trophy
Final takeaway? That “must-try” hype? Hard pass. Unless you like paying premium prices for defrosted disappointment with a side of municipal fines.
