So last Tuesday I’m staring at this sad leftover rotisserie chicken thinking, “Man, I gotta do something useful with you.” Scrolled through my phone, saw Cuban chicken noodle soup. Sounds fancy, right? But cheap. Decided to wing it.
The Hunt for Stuff
Grabbed my keys, drove to the grocery store. Needed:
- Whatever carrots looked okay
- A buncha celery
- Yellow onions? Fine.
- White vinegar… why did they have like 5 kinds? Grabbed “distilled,” hoped it was right.
- Cilantro bunch – smelled okay.
- Egg noodles, flat ones.
- Cumin & oregano – thank god my spice rack had ’em.
Murdering the Vegetables
Chopped the onions first. Tears everywhere. Felt like chopping onions for real. Diced the carrots kinda chunky – who cares? Celery? Sliced ’em thin-ish. Smashed garlic cloves with the knife side, just hacked ’em up. Pulled all the chicken meat off that stupid carcass. Felt like an animal surgeon.
Then heated olive oil in my biggest pot. Tossed onions, carrots, celery in. Stirred ’em around ’til they got softish. Almost forgot the garlic – chucked that in last minute. Almost burned it. Whoops.
The “Sofrito” Mess
Okay, so apparently you make some garlic-herb paste called sofrito? Never heard of it. Pounded a few more garlic cloves, cilantro stems, cumin, oregano, and that white vinegar together in my chipped mortar pestle. Looked like green sludge. Smelled weird. Scraped it all into the pot. Stirred like crazy.
Simmering Down the Crazy
Poured in a whole box of chicken broth and dumped the chicken bones right in. Yeah, the gnarly carcass. Covered it, cranked down the heat. Simmered it low for like an hour. Smelled… promising? Until the smoke alarm went off. Something boiled over. Disaster. Cleaned stove top, reduced heat even more. Went to watch YouTube.
Noodle Nightmare & Finishing Touches
Fished out the bones with tongs. Gross. Splash of water went everywhere. Added the shredded chicken back. Poured in the egg noodles straight from the bag. They soaked up ALL the liquid. Soup turned into thick sludge. Panicked. Added more water? Too much. Now it was watery. Killed me. Stuck lid back on, cooked noodles ’til soft. They got kinda soggy anyway.
The “Okay Fine” Result
Tossed in a handful of chopped cilantro leaves. Squeezed half a lime – splashed juice in my eye. Hurt like crazy. Stirred it angrily. Tasted it. Needed salt. Pepper. More lime? Sure. Dumped ’em in.
Served it. My partner took one bite: “Kinda… sour? Vinegar punchy.” Right. Should’ve used less vinegar. But hey, chicken was tender, noodles were edible. It tasted like soup. We didn’t get sick. Called it a win anyway. Next time? Maybe skip the sofrito slop.
