Man, this week I got obsessed with finding killer crayfish casserole. Seriously dreamed about that creamy goodness. Figured I should just hunt it down myself instead of drooling over food pics online.
First Stop: Apps & Trust Issues
Pulled out my phone, opened like three food apps. Searched “crayfish casserole near me.” Boom, tons popped up. But ya know how it is – photos look amazing, reviews sound fake as hell. So I ignored the stars. Scrolled real slow looking for pics uploaded by actual users. Saw one bowl that looked legit cheesy and lumpy with crayfish. Wrote down that spot.
Mission: Drive and Survive
Jumped in the car Saturday afternoon. Drove across town because apparently all the good seafood hides on the other side. Traffic was brutal. Almost gave up and grabbed burgers instead. Texted my buddy Mike: “If I die in traffic, know it was for casserole.” He just sent back a laughing emoji. Jerk.
Place #1: Smelled Good, Tasted… Meh
Found the first place – cozy little joint smelling like butter and garlic. Got excited. Ordered their “signature” casserole. Looked gorgeous when it arrived. Took a big bite… and just kinda nodded. It was fine. Like, totally edible. But missing something… punch? Maybe paprika? Sauce was creamy but… flat. Like eating beige. Took half home anyway ’cause, you know, leftovers.
Place #2: Dingy Spot, Golden Find?
Was ready to call it quits, but drove past this slightly sketchy-looking diner with a handwritten “Fresh Seafood” sign. Gut feeling said “STOP.” Place was kinda empty and smelled faintly of old fryer oil. But hey, my gut hasn’t steered me wrong since I ignored that suspicious gas station sushi. Ordered their casserole. Wasn’t picture-perfect – kinda messy, cheese wasn’t perfectly melted. But dang! First bite? Flavor bomb. Smoky, rich, crayfish tasted sweet and fresh, sauce had this kick I couldn’t place… maybe cayenne? Even the potatoes were cooked just right. Ate the whole darn bowl.
Kitchen Disaster: Tried Recreating It
Got cocky Sunday. Thought, “I can make this!” Bought a small fortune in crayfish tails, cream, spices. Recipe said “easy 30-min dish.” Lies. Made a gloopy mess that looked like vomit. Sauce split, tails got rubbery… dumped the whole pot. My dog sniffed it and walked away. Most expensive dog-avoided meal ever. Learned my lesson – sometimes you gotta leave it to the (diner) pros.
Cold Truths & Paychecks
Oh, tried microwaving those leftovers from Place #1. Bad idea. Sauce turned oily, crayfish like rubber erasers. Tossed it. Got talking to the waitress at that amazing diner while paying. Found out they make small batches fresh daily with local crayfish when in season. She joked the cook would freak if anyone called his casserole “healthy.” Also saw the kitchen help’s hourly rate posted accidentally… no wonder good cooks bounce. Felt kinda bad leaving a huge tip.
So yeah. Hunted high and low. Found gold in a greasy spoon. Learned I should never try cooking crayfish myself. Still dreaming about that diner bowl though. Might go back tomorrow.
